I am an imposter.

As a student in the health care field, we're all expected to perform some sort of hands on training to make sure that we don't kill a person when we treat them. Physical therapy is no different, we're expected to supplement our didactic classwork with real life experiences as a DPT. I'm not going to lie, going off on my first clinical was daunting and made me completely anxious. Now that I'm on my second clinical, the feeling hasn't changed one bit. After all, we're literally dealing with the well being of actual humans. People who have family members that care about them and actually want them to get better. That can be a daunting task, no matter how confident you are.

No matter how hard you study, there is always going to be a part of you that feels like an imposter. I certainly felt and feel that every day when I'm treating patients under the care of my Clinical Instructor. The thoughts of "Who allowed me to treat this patient?" and "I don't even know anything!" constantly plague my mind. Honestly, I'd be worried if these thoughts didn't plague the mind of any student entering the real world. Imposter syndrome is a very real phenomenon that every single student in the history of health care feels at one point in their training. However, rather than having imposter syndrome control your thoughts, you should be using them to drive your interest for a field that you care about. So, here are a few things that you should know before you go into your first clinical.

1. You are going to be wrong.

The quicker you realize that you are not always going to be right, the faster you'll overcome imposter syndrome. In school, we're constantly learning every little fact about every little thing in case it ends up on an exam. However, in the real world, it is impossible to know everything. Don't be afraid to admit that. If your CI asks you a question about a diagnosis or a treatment that you don't understand, don't be afraid to say you don't know. This isn't going to come off as a sign of weakness or stupidity. Rather, your CI will probably be happy to explain to you the diagnosis or treatment. Also, you'll get to the opportunity to learn something that you hadn't known before.

2. It's okay to not be perfect.

When we go out onto our clinical experiences, it is important for us to realize that we are being thrown out into the world with people who have been practicing PT for longer than we've been born. We are bound to make mistakes in positioning, body mechanics, and various other things. As students, it is our job to hone our skills by making little mistakes. Now, I'm not saying dropping a patient is okay because it isn't. However, forgetting to put a pillow underneath a patient's legs while they are prone isn't life or death. As long as we learn from our mistakes, we will all become better therapists at the end.

3. Emotional burnout is a real thing.

Unless you are some psychopath who feels no emotions, there is a very high chance that you will experience some sort of emotional burnout. After caring for the needs of countless patients for 8 hours every day, you're going to want to do nothing with dealing with the emotions of your loved ones at home. I experienced this quite heavily towards the middle of my first clinical. All I would do when I went home was sit on my computer and watch Grey's Anatomy because talking to anyone made me agitated. However, there are ways to deal with that. I started journaling out my thoughts so that I could separate my work feelings from my actual feelings. But if journaling isn't for you, you could try working out, taking long walks, or just doing something that you love.

4. Absorb everything and enjoy your time.

This is a pretty stereotypical and obvious piece of advice, but it couldn't be more true. It's easy to get carried away in the treating and documenting of patients that we actually forget that we are there to learn. Every clinical experience should build upon the next in terms of your responsibility and in the amount of information that you learn. Be a sponge and just absorb everything. We are honing our craft and subconsciously drawing influences from everywhere. Our tone while documenting could come from one CI, while our treatments and patient care could come from another. I can tell you that I've learned so much from my first clinical experience that I would have never thought of simply by watching how my CIs handled certain situations. Paying attention and observing will teach you almost as much, if not more, than doing and learning.

Those are just a few things that I find aren't often talked about when we talk about imposter syndrome and our clinical experiences. However, it's important that the idea of "perfection" be shattered. It's okay to not be perfect, to not know the answer to every question, and to need time for yourself. It's important to be present and active in every aspect of our PT school journey and our clinical experiences are no different. So, go into your first clinical knowing that it's okay to be an imposter.